A War-Filled Vacation

About three months ago, I had a vacation in Ohio because my grandparents live there. Their farm is 500 acres, so it's a great place to have an Airsoft war. I brought my Airsoft guns just in case. My uncle, who used to be in the Navy, was there, and we asked him to play. We had to wait for him to finish some work, but we were willing to wait. In the end, the war took place in a big white barn. It was just like a real war.

My older brother (Top Dude) was on my team and my little brother (SuperBro) was on my uncle's team. Top Dude and I were both armed with M3000 pistol grip shotguns and .357 Magnum revolvers. Super Bro had the same revolver and a Spas12 pistol grip shotgun. We only gave my uncle one gun, one of the M3000 shotguns, because he was by far the best shot. We all loaded up with plenty of ammunition, and we were ready to start the war!

My brother and I started off inside the barn, which we were pretending was a sports arena. We were trying to stop my uncle and Super Bro from planting a bomb inside. They were pretending to be terrorists, and we were counter-terrorists. Eventually they rushed in and trapped us near a small door. We were forced to escape through it.

Later on, when they left to reload, I snuck in and hid in the loft. So when Super Bro and my uncle came back, I took them by surprise! Top Dude chased Super Bro to the other side of the barn, while I drew fire from my uncle. As soon as he ran out of ammo and Top Dude was victorious over Super Bro, I considered them the losers.

So that's how my older brother and I won the war. It was a great vacation!

***

My mom is making me show you my rough draft too. My assignment was to go back and add details! Here was my rough draft:

About three months ago, I had a vacation in Ohio because my grandparents live there. I brought my Airsoft guns just in case we wanted to have a war. In the end we did, in a big red barn. It was just like a real war.

My older brother was on my team and my little brother was on my uncle's team. My brothers and I all have Airsoft revolvers and a rifle to arm us. We were ready to start the war!

My brother and I started off in the barn. Eventually my little brother's team drove us out of the barn, but later on we came through the back of the barn and stole it back.

When my older brother went to go reload, I stayed and hid in the loft. So that when my little brothers team came back, I took them by surprise! My older brother and I won. It was a great vacation.

A Poorly-Named Book

I think that the book, The Golden Goblet, is misnamed. This book is more about the boy Ranifer than the golden goblet. It's really a story about how Ranifer discovers that his mean guardian, Gebu, is a tomb robber. He reports him to the queen of Egypt, and then young Ranifer is finally free to become a goldsmith's apprentice. I think that maybe Ranifer's Secret would fit better. You should read it and try to think of a better name. Although this book has a bad title, it is one of the best books I've ever read.

(My assignment was to write one paragraph on The Golden Goblet, with all sentences relating to the topic sentence.)

A Tomb Robber At Work

At last! I have found the pyramid I've been looking for! Hmmm, which door should I take? I'll take this one. There so many forks in the roads in pyramids. I'm looking for a door that might lead me to gold. I need to find just a little gold or a few precious jewels that I can smuggle out before someone catches me.

Ahhh, right here's a door! It's a clay door, by the looks of it. Maybe I can ram into it and break it. There we go! I did it. It's open. Now, for the gold.

On my left I see a canopic jar full of internal organs. Ewww. Nothing to interest me there. Next to it I see a wooden statue of a cow. Moving on, I see a low couch carved in the shape of a two-headed calf. On it is a decorated bowl full of shrived figs. I peer closely at the decorations. No jewels--just more cows.

On the far wall, something attracts my eye. It is the oversize coffin, covered in rubies. Hmmm, I could chip off a few of those. Next to the coffin is a scepter, striped in blue and gold, with a golden cobra at the top. Sadly, it's too tall for my pack.

I look to the right-hand wall and see a beautifully carved wooden table. On it, I spy a spilled jar of little gold pins. Those will fit in my pack, and they'll be easy to melt down. With that gold and a few of those rubies, I can easily buy myself that chariot I've kept my eye on so long: the Anubis Racer V!

(This assignment was to write a descriptive paragraph with spatial organization.)

A Bird? A Plane? Noooooo--It's Super Dude!

My name is Super Dude. I’m 12 years old and in the 6th grade. I’m a hippie with long, blonde, shaggy hair and blue eyes. I love my family. I have five siblings: MiniMe (2), Lil' Dudette (4), SuperBro (8), Drama Ditz (14) and Top Dude (16).

My favorite thing to do is skateboarding. It is so much fun to try out new jumps. I go everywhere on my skateboard. I also love soccer. I love kicking the ball up and down the field. I have so much fun playing soccer. Also, my brothers and I play Airsoft, a gun that shoots little plastic pellets. I enjoy drawing, too.

One of my favorite things to do is laugh. When I’m hanging out with my friends, laughing is the most fun thing we do. I also enjoy acting and singing in a children’s theater group. I think it is weird when guys go shopping, but when I go shopping with SuperBro, we play around like little kids in the store.

Above all else, music is my passion. I don’t let a day go by without listening to my favorite bands: Beatles, Queen, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Kiss and The Shins. I like all oldies. I sing and play piano, and I’d like to learn to play guitar too. Someday I want to be the lead singer and guitarist of my own band!